Stay Another Day

Song: ‘Stay Now’ performed by East 17

Warning: the following contains references to suicide.

This song wasn’t written as a Christmas song at all but simply released in the race to Christmas Number One and so the sound of a few bells added to the musical score, and some snow flurries in the music video, meant it has become a characteristic sound of Christmas.

The song was actually written about the suicide of Tony Mortimer’s brother but it was adapted to reflect the break up of a relationship. In both cases it deals with grief in different ways, and the suddenness of loss

It’s an emotional song and was one of the band’s first ballads, taking the Christmas Number one slot. It continues to be heard each Christmas although some people claim it’s not a Christmas Song at all – which begs the question, “What is a Christmas Song anyway?”

Anyway, enough of all this! There will be time to talk and reflect soon, so let’s listen to the song!

Lyrics: You can find the Lyrics at: https://genius.com/East-17-stay-another-day-lyrics

Is the song familiar or unfamiliar to you?

What were your immediate thoughts?

How does this song make you feel?

Here are some areas for discussion. There are far too many here for one session, so just take your pick!

  • What makes a Christmas song? Let’s go back to where we left off earlier and think about what people think makes a song ‘a Christmas song?’ What are the characteristics? Music has a powerful quality, and we often associate certain pieces of music with certain times in our lives. What part does music play in our lives? What part does religious music play in our lives? How well do we value hymns, songs, psalms, music and singing in our times of worship? (Ephesians 5:19-21)
  • “Don’t you say it’s the final kiss.” Whether of greeting or goodbye, our life is filled with kisses, embraces, handshakes and more as we meet and leave one another. Some are more final than others. The final kiss of Jesus came from the one who betrayed him, and he is then led away to all he had predicted (Matthew 26: 47-50). Where is the pain in the Christmas narratives? What greetings are there? What departures? Can we relate to any of them?
  • “Stay another day.” Whilst the lyrics have been adapted from the writer wishing he could spend one more day with his brother to asking a lover to stay another day, there is perhaps something here about the importance of making the most of each day, and making the most of our life with all its friendships, love and opportunities. “Now is the time of God’s favour,now is the day of salvation,” wrote St Paul. (2 Corinthians 6:1-2). In what ways are we unsettled in the present moment? How are we distracted from what is before us? What opportunities do we miss by having our thoughts and concerns on other things? What small blessings do we overlook each day? (Luke 12:22-32)
  • “That your love was gonna be here to stay.” In his letter to to the Corinthians, St Paul talks of the greatest gift of all which is love, which bears all things (1 Corinthians 13) Sometimes, love does not seem to bear all things but appears to cause us even greater pain. In Romans, he says, “Nothing can separate us from the Love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39). Love is at the heart of God’s Kingdom, and at the heart of the commandments. “God so loved the world…” (John 3:16) and “No longer do I call your servants but friends” (John 15:15). Love can be difficult but it also gives us great joy. Do we feel the constant love of God? What does it mean to love? What does it mean to be loved? Is the Incarnation simply a past event? How do we know God loves us? (1 John 4:10)
  • “If you gotta go away, don’t think I could take the pain.” Forty days after the birth of Jesus and, in a moment of joy and wonder, Simeon predicts the pain of a pierced heart to Mary. Our lives are punctuated by pain and disappointment. (Luke 2: 33-35) How do you think Mary felt to hear these words? What pains, worries or anxieties did she have throughout Jesus’ life? (Luke 2:41-51; Mark 3:31-35)
  • “All that I do seems to be wrong”. Relationships can be difficult and challenging, as we try to accommodate one another. Sometimes, we may wrong, whilst in some cases it may be difficult to please others at all. But how do we view our lives in relation to God? What does God expect of us? How can we live up to God’s expectations? Are we too hard on ourselves at times? Or are we too lax on occasions? Can we live up to the calling to “Be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect?” (Matthew 5:48) What is our calling as a Church community towards each other? (1 Corinthians 1:10; Ephesians 4:1-6; John 17:21-23)
  • Advent is a time of expectancy and hope. It’s not just a time to prepare for the Christmas celebrations, but for the coming of Christ and the Hope of Heaven. At the end of the song, to make it more Christmassy, we hear the ringing of bells, perhaps a sign of joy, a signal of hope, a celebration. Life is full of pain and pleasure, sorrow and joy with the promise of Heaven always before us. But what is Heaven? In our daily lives, do we experience Heaven on the horizon? How does that change things? (Philippians 3:20-21; 1 John 3:2)

At the end, identify what we have gained or learned, and what has changed for us Is there anything we can act upon?

After the discussion, a particular reading from the Bible may have come to mind, which can be read, and the session completed with a time of prayer in whatever way suits the group.

You may want to play the song again as part of gathering everything together